Yesterday I mentioned the book "The Rules." This is mandatory reading. Once you read it, you'll know why every relationship you/your friends/your parents etc ever went wrong.
When I was in high school, "The Rules" came out. I remember they were controversial and I didn't read them because I didn't know that there was an "art" to relationships/seduction (whatever) but also the controversy was that they were somehow sexist or game playing. Basically they told women not to be too available. Advice your grandma gave you, which you should have fucking listened to.
My relationship philosophy from high-school until I was about 28 was that I thought if you just persisted a whole bunch, like you do in the rest of your life with school, work, sports, piano, whatever, that things would eventually go your way. It turns out that is wrong. Men don't find it cute when you pursue them, even if they used to be interested in you.
Even if you don't like The Rules, they are in fact true.
Its like this. Most of us, especially not me, cannot eat whatever we want and not exercise and stay healthy. Most women seem to get that about their bodies and they do their best to be healthy. Whether its from vanity or concern about disease, whatever the reason, they do it.
So the same is true in your dealings with men. You cannot just doooo whatever you want, because often what you want to do is unhealthy. I want to eat a whole pizza but its going to make me sick, so I'll eat this goat cheese and veggies instead. Still yummy, just fewer consequences. I want to call that guy I like, but its better to wait til he calls me cos then he feels like he accomplished something and I also get the benefit in knowing he likes me and I didn't have to do shit. Maybe I had to exercise a little patience, which I know is probably the hardest part. But patience soon leads to rewards.
The Rules will tell you that being smart and independent are in fact attractive to men. Somehow this message has been lost along the way. Looks are not everything (something everyone is fucking tell you all the time) but I don't know why women are confused about that. Sometimes mom's will say to you, oh he is intimidated by your intellect when a guy breaks up with you. Untrue. You were probably too clingy or available or whatever, but I promise it wasn't your brain that concerned him. In fact the brain probably turned him on and he might have even stuck around longer than he would have if you were dumb. Just sayin.
I am not any kind of classic beauty. I'm overweight, I wear glasses, I dress like a hipster. But I don't have any trouble meeting and keeping men interested. Why? Because I am confidant, independent and very smart. I noticed when I moved from NYC to LA, men were like drooling on me because I was the first girl who could speak good talking (yes) that they had met in, oh forever. SMART GOOD! DUMB BAD!
Tomorrow I think I will discuss the differences in LA and NYC dating, according to my experience.
Ta-Ta
No comments:
Post a Comment