When I decided to move to LA for graduate school all of my New York Friends told me that it was a bad idea and I would hate it. I went with an open mind and a lot of hope. Unfortunately they were right and four years later I came back to Brooklyn.
There are many cultural differences between the east and west coast and one that I was pleasantly surprised about was the dating, which I found to be much better in LA. Though I was never in the entertainment industry, which I'm sure is full of terrible guys and probably has ratios similar to NYC, but let me explain.
When I was in New York from ages 23-27, I had the sense that there were not only very few available men in NYC, there were VERY FEW good guys. I approached my dating life "knowing" this and basically just hooked up and had fun with whoever came a long via craigslist. I was used to the somewhat fucked up nature of NYC 20-something relationships. Which is to say, meet, fuck and maybe meet again, but maybe not and if you meet again you will slowly learn how truly fucked up they are, so best to not meet too many times.
When I went to LA I took a little of this fucked upedness with me and started a thing with one of my classmates who had a serious gf (very fucked up on my part). But as I was from NYC, this was somehow normal/ok (bad karma!!!!). Slowly I grew and matured and realized that in LA you could have what I would consider a "regular" relationship. The male to female ratio wasn't so off and the women in LA weren't so great, so my chances of meeting a good guy increased exponentially. That was one of the problems in NYC, men knew that there were lots of pretty, smart and interesting women. Men in LA do not have this luxury so they don't have the same sense that there is always something better around the corner. A lot of meh girls in LA had boyfriends. In NYC almost everyone was single or if they were with someone their boyfriend kinda sucked. In LA I found that the men were actually much better than the women. A new sensation.
In part this is because the lifestyle of LA makes good guys and terrible girls. The laziness of daily life makes guys happy, pleasant and chatty. It makes girls insecure and boring. NYC has the opposite affect. It makes women interesting and cool and makes men neurotic and douchey.
In LA men were fairly respectful. They picked you up, took you out, didn't pressure you for sex. It was nice, mature. I got used to it.
When I came back to New York, I was again open minded and hopeful, thinking that part of the problem I had in my 20s was that I had "decided" that men in NYC were fucked up. This time I was like, "no, there are some good ones." Wrong.
I went out with about 14 guys in the 10 months I was in NYC before I met my boyfriend (who lives 3 hours outside of NYC). At least half of them tried to sleep with me within the first few hours (or less) of the date and when I declined or didnt sleep with them by date two, they quickly moved on. That's all fine and good that you are not that into me but in LA if a dude wasnt interested he just didn't call again. He didn't also try to fuck you just to get something out of it before dropping your ass. This is rude, NYC guys. Your time isn't so precious that you need to fuck everyone you spend ten minutes talking to or buy one drink for.
In part I blame NYC girls, (including my 20-something self) who have trained these idiots so badly. If you meet a guy and he tries to sleep with you quickly, DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. It's pointless. You'll get mediocre sex at best and then the rest of us have to deal with the douche. Just say no. He has to wine and dine you first! That pussy is worth it! If he doesn't then you are better off! We're all better off! We're in this together ladies! We all reap the benefits when men behave correctly. But the only way to get that is to collectively train!
Think about the hard work your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend had to put into him to make him reasonable for you. You did that for some other girl with your exes. We're all paying it forward. Don't let men do fucked up shit, cause then they do it again to someone else.
Think about this, no one can blame a doggie for peeing in the house if you never took the time to fucking show it to pee outside.
Just sayin.
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