a very brooklyn tale

im terribly forgetful and neglectful about even having a blog.  and the irony is i so often think, i have an opinion or tirade i want to make and simply no place to do so!  but it turns out i do!

yesterday i went to the pharmacy to refill my prescripts.  due to my recent return the white collar world, my health insurance has become not only cheaper but better.  ironic no?  when i had a shittier job and was making less money, my health care premium was $150 a month and did not cover drugs.  now with a better paying job (where my health will improve just by proxy) my health care premium is only about $70 a month and it includes drugs!   by the way, i had the same health insurance both times, empire blue cross/blue shield pmo, same doctors etc.  now that i get drugs covered, my cost per month on that goes from about $65 to $20 (including birth control!  suck it republicans).  did i mention i used to make LESS money and was paying 100% more for healthcare/drugs per month. 
and this is why health care in the us is bullshit... but i digress.

so i walked to my pharmacy, as i was saying, which is about 1/2 mile from my house.  why would i walk half a mile to go to the pharmacy when there are probably 5 pharmacies within 3 blocks of my house you ask?  because this is a very brooklyn tale and i only go to a family run pharmacy, which of course has limited hours!

anyway, on my way home i decided to stop into the local book store.  which is pretty good, though i must say my favorite bookstore in nyc is kinokuniya (even for english titles).  this particular store has frequent author talks and there was a lady talking about her book to a rather large group as i was browsing.  i caught only bits and pieces of the talk and from the context could not really get what she was trying to lay down.  there seemed to be something about having only one child as a "green" or environmental choice. and something else about feeling guilty for only having one child.

this is a very brooklyn tale because this lady wrote a whole book about why its ok to have or decide to have an only child.  as if being an only child is some psychological affliction.

people with choices, that is to say, those with education, money and many other rare things get to make these choices for themselves, while many others never get to make these choices.  even i find it toooo much to convince people that having only one child does not make them bad people, i agree that they are not bad people.  what makes them bad people is not recognizing that this is not an actual problem.  and that someone had to write a book about it and that soooo many people went to hear.
some people cant physically have any children at all!  does that make them bad?  how crazy.

full disclosure.  i am an only child (with an older half brother, who i would also categorize as an only child).  maybe i am less prepared for the harsh realities of the world, but i also would not have it any other way. ;) 

My money is green

I like clothes.  And shoes.  And most things women like. 
I like to shop but I have been overweight most of life, so theres always that to contend with.
I don't like to shop in like fat people stores (Lane Bryant etc), mostly because the clothes are un-stylish but also because they use the most awful synthetic fabrics.   I live in an neighborhood with many "plus-sized" options but these mostly caters to black women, so the color choices that the stores carry always looks weird on my pasty skin (I cant wear orange and leopard print and bright purple floral prints). 

So I tend to just take my chances in the regular stores.  Which usually do have wearable things even for the "plus" sized.  Especially when slightly "baggy" (or "deconstructed") is in, which it is very much right now.   In general I like my clothes, even if I have had fewer options.  I am happy with my style.  I prefer to buy expensive clothes with fancy fabrics, so that means I just have fewer of them which is all fine and good.  So whats my point....

I have felt that there are many times when I am shopping somewhere, especially small boutique stores, that I am "not welcome."  Even if the clothes fit me, the people in the stores would prefer that I not be wearing them.  Because what does that say about their brand?  On the one hand I understand this, because prejudice against fat people is high and highly accepted especially among urban white people.  However, I would like to point out that my money is green and worth the same amount as anyone else's.   I would also like to point out that YOU are working in a STORE, so suck it. 

I was made to think about this because yesterday I went to a shoe sample sale for Marais Shoes.  I found several shoes I liked and went to pay.  The woman before me, a typical JAP (jewish american princess) with that nasal valley girl/jersey accent was paying for her shoes.  The owner (?) of Marais said to her, oh I want to take your picture for the blog, everyone is getting their picture taken.  JAP-py girl feigned mock embarrassment at this request and had it taken.  

When I paid however, Mrs. Marais didn't say anything about the picture.   I could tell it was sort of a, I'm selling you shoes, but I'm pretty uninterested in you representing my brand in any way.  Which I was kind of like, eh but also oddly hurt.  She could have just taken the pic and not used it.  Which would have been the more "polite" thing to do.  I get that people would like to shame me into losing weight but my parents tried that for years without avail.  New Yorkers in general love to shame each other into better behavior.  I get it.  But I still think, my money is worth the same as any jappy valley/jersey girl any day and I'm also much less annoying.

Just saying.

Lets Get Real People

I saw that Palestine was trying to get reconized by the UN.  I agree with this 1000000000%.  Why they don't have a state is fucking stupid and I want to break down the situation to all of you.   Before you go all crazy.  My mom is Jewish, which makes me Jewish and I even went to Hebrew school, so I can say whatever the fuck I want about this.  And by the way, I'm just saying the effing truth.

After World War 2, Europe was like lets just please get these fucking people (Los Jews) out of here once and for all.  We've been talking about it FOREVER (look it up) but this time, lets do it for REAL.  (BTW, Europe would still love to figure out a way to get rid of all "non-white" Europeans,  they'll let you know when they come up with something).

So in the 40s England was like, ok, so we kind of won this shit, so we'll decide where they can go.  They looked around and were like, Argentina?  Alaska?  Uganda?  (All true)  Why no one thought to put it where it fucking belongs, in Brooklyn (where I live), I dont know, maybe real estate was already too high.
Heres another alternative, cos this place could really use the economic development!  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiryas_Joel,_New_York

Anyway, so England chooses Palestine, which makes sense historically and they were like, oh theres one minor thing.  There's already people living there.  But hey, no worries, well give you weapons and you can just go fucking deal with it however.  Like, we won't even be paying any attention.  So England gives some Ukrainian assholes some money and weapons to go take over Palestine.  BOOM! Israel is born.  Now for some reason.  The people already living there, who are also slightly brown just will NOT FUCKING LEAVE NO MATTER WHAT ISRAEL DOES.  They were like, lets just cut them off, kill them, enter their homes, rape, pillage, make check points everywhere, put up a wall etc etc.  But for some reason, some of them stilllll wouldn't flee into the neighboring countries, which also happened to be Muslim so for some reason the ISRAELIES were like, hey how come these other MUSLIMS won't take in these people?  (Since Israelies don't understand shit about tribes or how countries work, but whatevers).

So during all this, what does the US do?  Keep on giving the Israelies more money, no matter what fucking bullshit they do.  Truly.  No matter what.

Why is this?  Well two reasons.

1.  There are many powerful, well connected Jews.  This does not mean all Jews are bad, this is just a fact.   BTW, I don't consider Israelies as "Jews."  No Jews I know fucking join the military or are that fucking hairy or even that obnoxious (except for the girls who live in Murray Hill, but that's another story).  The Jews I know get doctorates and eat gluten free bagels.  Israelies are fucking Russians and everyone knows, Russians are assholes.  (Ask any Russian).

2.  Christians believe that Jesus will only come back if the Jews are in Israel.  So they will do whatever it takes to keep them there!  After all once Jesus comes back he'll kill all the non-believers anyway! Yay!

So that's how we got here.  One part xenophobia on Europes behalf, one part on Israel's behalf, some crazy story about Jesus, a bunch of money and weapons.

Just give the Palestinians a state already.  This is utter madness.  I'm so tired of it being so one sided.   And its like if you say anything against Israel you are anti-semitic.  Israelies are not JEWS as far as I'm concerned! 

The Israelies are not oppressed.  They are just surprisingly bad at genocide and/or forcible relocation.  We probably could have given them some tips on that.  Trail o Tears.

What I Would Say to A Republican

Yesterday overall the US-ians did a good thing.  They got rid of some bad apples and brought in some good ones.   I would have preferred if the dems took the house and got rid of Michelle Bachman, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor for good, but I'll take what I can get.

B-rock hasnt been the best prez, in the sense that, I want him to be MORE liberal, not less, but again I'll take what I can get.

Now, about half the country voted for Mitt Romney.  These people include two basic groups: rich white dudes (selfish) and everyone else (stupid or the less offensive "ignorant"). 

Now rich white dudes make up a teeny number, lets say no more than 10% (when I say rich I mean anyone over maybe $100,000 a year in income).   So that leaves about 90% of Mitts voters in the stupid/ignorant camp.  I should let you know that I think that ignorance is not an excuse for anything, much like how ignorance of the law will not get you off in court.

I'm not entirely sure what Mitt Romney stood for, but since he had most of Bush's people in his corner, lets guess they had similar goals to last time.

1. Less taxes - I think for everyone, not just the rich.  But less taxes means fewer services and high debt because even though republicans may not like services they do loveeeee going to war

2. More debt - Much of our debt is paying for things that republicans cannot get approved in the congress, like more wars (get ready Iran).  The republicans only get worried about the debt when they are not in power but if you really wanted to pay it off they would recommend you just cut more services.  Like Housing, Education, Environment - those alone would probably pay for like a whole week of wars.

3.  Less regulation - Hope you love 3-eyed fishes and high fructose corn syrup in your water.

4. Crumbling infrastructure - Not their problem for some reason

5. Less money for education - Dumber population = more republican voters

6.  Womens rights - meh.  Do we need rights?

7. Fewer services for everyone - medical shit, social security shit, housing, development blah blah blah

8. Unregulated markets - those work (?) and then they don't work and then for some reason all the rich people suddenly need the government that they usually hate.

Basically if you go to most other rich countries, like Canada, Germany, Japan, even France.  They have services. Free education, healthcare, good infrastructure and not so much poverty.  But if you go to other 2nd world countries like Mexico and Russia, you have some rich people and a lot of struggling people, shitty infrastructure and a heavy class based society with little mobility.  Guess which of these countries has low taxes and low regulations.   BINGO!

If you are republican and you love this model so much I highly recommend you move to Mexico to live your dream.

trying to feel bad

This past summer I let one of my college friends stay at my house while she figured out her life in NYC.  I thought I was doing something good, even though in my gut I knew it was going to be bad for me.  What I really wanted was to live alone, but it seemed to selfish after all the universe had done for me in the past year not to give someone else a helping hand. 

We got in a number of fights, first because she was doing things I didn't like but then over time my personal filter just went away and I would say things to her that I probably wouldn't say to my worst enemy.  This was in part because she is so difficult to be around that the only way for me to cope was to just express myself but also it was in part as a means to an end.   If I tell you whats wrong with you, maybe you will have the where with all to change it. 
I'm not sure what good it did.  Telling her what I thought didn't make me feel any better and the only time I felt at peace was once she left. 

Today she told me her boyfriend broke up with her.  He used what I consider to be a bullshit reason but its ironic because what he was mad about was things that I advised her to do. 
I "want" to feel guilty but I know that what I told her to do was the "right thing."  Though she rarely followed it.  I have a feeling she may blame me.  Again I'm having trouble feeling the proper "guilt" about this.
I definitely never tried to steer her wrong so I think that is why I don't feel bad.    I know that what I told her to do was the right way to approach the relationship, but how she executed it was up to her.

It's ironic because I love to give advice.  It is something I think I am truly gifted at.  Everyone from my mother to my friends to my co-workers come to me for advice.  I would love anyone in the world to write to me and ask for advice on almost any topic.   I can only semi-guarantee results however if you actually follow what I say ;)

secrets

im a firm believer in what is best described as "the secret."  the notion that you can manifest in your life the things you want by asking for them.   one thing i found interesting in that book was that "the universe" doesn't understand negative articles, like no or none.  so if you say, "i want no trouble."  the universe hears, "i want trouble!"
keeping that in mind, when i am asking for things i often modify them.  if i say, "i dont want to see any cops!"  (when im driving, over the speed limit, tee hee) i might immediately correct myself by saying, "keep the cops away!" instead.  a more affirmative statement.
when i was looking for a job, i had an interview at the most awful place i had ever seen.  it looked like a prison on the outside and the inside was dark and just full of the saddest, ugliest people i had ever seen.  like this scene from joe vs. the volcano

anyway after my interview as i fled from that place i said inside my head, PLEASE NEVER MAKE ME COME HERE AGAIN.  so guess what.  a few months later i get called back to that place.  i interview for a completely ridiculous job, that i never ever applied for and of course i get it.  i felt that i couldn't turn it down because of the money and benefits.  but i know i got it because what the universe heard was:
PLEASE MAKE ME COME HERE AGAIN!

i still hate that place and i work everyday to try to get the eff out of there.

so basically when you ask for something, ask only in the affirmative.  don't confuse the universe.  

Rookie Mistakes

Yesterday my boyfriend and I had one of those inevitable talks about our  dating "history."  Now I have some ground rules for everyone when having these talks.  One, don't be specific, especially if you're a woman (but men too, for different reasons).  Men don't need to know how many dudes you have slept with (something I think everyone has told you all the time).  The fewer (ie zero) they think about the better.   Also I would only talk about the serious relationships, not the guys you met on vacation or dated for a like a month.   My boyfriend happens to come from a country where casual dating is non-existent, so I think it may be possible he doesn't even comprehend how many people we "go through" in America/the West.

Women also need to know as few details as possible because if they know names, places (etc) they will stalk.  I didn't know this about myself until my boyfriend told me the name of his ex-girlfriend (ie the one who he thought he was going to marry/the one that broke his heart) and as soon as he was out of sight I start looking that bitch up on the internet. Yeah. 

My exboyfriend's girlfriend once tried to friend me on facebook, like a year or more after we had broken up (btw, this was not in high school, it was like last year, and I am in my 30s, so that shit never stops apprently).  I can't even tell you how much a non-threat to her I was/am. 
But now I get it.  :/

Rookie mistake #1:
DONT TELL YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND YOU SLEPT WITH SOMEONE YOU ARE STILL VERY GOOD FRIENDS WITH!!!

I mentioned a few posts back a friend, let's call her "Amanda", who had recently broken up with her boyfriend "Ned" (a good thing).  When they first started dating she told him she had slept with one of our very close friends "Joe" and then things were weird between Ned and Joe for pretty much the ENTIRE relationship (over three years).  The worst part is Amanda had moved to London (where Ned and Joe live) and her only friend was Joe, so now Ned made it difficult for her to see her ONLY friend.  The moral of the story is stay SHHHHHH.