This past summer I let one of my college friends stay at my house while she figured out her life in NYC. I thought I was doing something good, even though in my gut I knew it was going to be bad for me. What I really wanted was to live alone, but it seemed to selfish after all the universe had done for me in the past year not to give someone else a helping hand.
We got in a number of fights, first because she was doing things I didn't like but then over time my personal filter just went away and I would say things to her that I probably wouldn't say to my worst enemy. This was in part because she is so difficult to be around that the only way for me to cope was to just express myself but also it was in part as a means to an end. If I tell you whats wrong with you, maybe you will have the where with all to change it.
I'm not sure what good it did. Telling her what I thought didn't make me feel any better and the only time I felt at peace was once she left.
Today she told me her boyfriend broke up with her. He used what I consider to be a bullshit reason but its ironic because what he was mad about was things that I advised her to do.
I "want" to feel guilty but I know that what I told her to do was the "right thing." Though she rarely followed it. I have a feeling she may blame me. Again I'm having trouble feeling the proper "guilt" about this.
I definitely never tried to steer her wrong so I think that is why I don't feel bad. I know that what I told her to do was the right way to approach the relationship, but how she executed it was up to her.
It's ironic because I love to give advice. It is something I think I am truly gifted at. Everyone from my mother to my friends to my co-workers come to me for advice. I would love anyone in the world to write to me and ask for advice on almost any topic. I can only semi-guarantee results however if you actually follow what I say ;)
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